Local Sports Team Drops 3-1 Lead in Attempt to Regain Media Attention
THE TOWN OF LAWRENCEVILLE, NOT THE SCHOOL - Towards the dramatic finale of the US presidential race, the media’s attention has been solely focused on former Sec. of State Hillary Clinton and real estate entrepreneur Donald Trump. Many other headlines have been ignored during the midst of political turmoil.
In a protest of unfair news coverage, a local Lawrenceville kickball team, the Brunswick Bootleggers, deliberately lost its 3-1 lead in its series final after having a near-perfect season. Due to their lack of media attention, correspondent Jonathan Ge ‘18 spoke with team this week.
In an exclusive interview, team captain Hal Drumpf explained “if we had won, we still would’ve gone unnoticed. People would’ve said ‘they’re the team with the near-perfect season, of course they’ll win the series.'”
“Besides,” he added, “the Warriors and Indians both did it. Why can’t we? With this, we can prove that we’re on the same level as they are. Granted, it would be the same level of failure, but any common ground is good ground.”
A later conference with the rest of the team demonstrated that not all shared Drumpf’s opinion.
Star kicker Mitchell Kane described their series loss as “completely not worth the publicity. We went through all that effort and the only news outlet we got noticed was this shod-”
Kane’s microphone unexpectedly turned off and he was unable to continue.
At press time, the captain was seen talking in panicked tones on his cell phone, saying “Honey, I know we lost the $50 prize money. Yes, yes, [I know we] have bills to pay. I at least thought we could’ve made it [to meme status or be mentioned in top comments on Facebook.]”
Jonathan Ge '18 contributed reporting.
